it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
and you fell through a lawn chair
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