Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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