Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
