the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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