I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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