hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We had sex on a dog bed..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
