i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
