Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Randomize
