I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
