respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Houston, we have a squirter
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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