How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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