When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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