I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
