i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
