It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
God, I missed his penis.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
