are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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