You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
