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• (407): View more from Florida

  tod's in jail

  (863): View more from Florida

  he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out

  (440): View more from Ohio

  seek help.

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (510): View more from California

  just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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• (432): View more from Texas

  Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.

  (941): View more from Florida

  it was a krispy kreme

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.

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