Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
  Replies (8) Good night (1466) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada

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  (616): Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada http://tfl.nu/8u25
  Replies (29) Good night (1477) Bad night (4410)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw

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  (614): There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw http://tfl.nu/mvua
  Replies (45) Good night (7396) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?

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  (908): how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood? http://tfl.nu/72yq
  Replies (22) Good night (4123) Bad night (1870)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal

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  (503): Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal http://tfl.nu/qwe2
  Replies (13) Good night (7282) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.

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  (+61): When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back. http://tfl.nu/58ah
  Replies (35) Good night (1102) Bad night (7265)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that

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  (289): i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that http://tfl.nu/oz0t
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (4419)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us

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  (779): Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us http://tfl.nu/jk9n
  Replies (2) Good night (2159) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit

  (1-772): View more from Florida

  Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex

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  (772): I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit (1-772): Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex http://tfl.nu/44ls
  Replies (8) Good night (628) Bad night (1288)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...

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  (603): Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing... http://tfl.nu/j7d9
  Replies (6) Good night (2476) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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  (724): You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to. http://tfl.nu/ryed
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Then he went and peed on those teenagers.

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  (501): I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it (501): Then he went and peed on those teenagers. http://tfl.nu/3fwd
  Replies (6) Good night (1057) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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  (702): Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/5vt4
  Replies (6) Good night (541) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today

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  (541): You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today http://tfl.nu/hkte
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking

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  (513): He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something (513): Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking http://tfl.nu/a3rg
  Replies (1) Good night (196) Bad night (547)

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