Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Randomize
Follow @tfln