i may or may not be watching the land before time
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.