Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

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  (913): end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/fo6s
  Replies (5) Good night (760) Bad night (633) Order T-Shirt
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  (936): View more from Texas

  Bea Arthur died! :(

  (214): View more from Texas

  What?

  (936): View more from Texas

  Big bird passed.

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  (936):Bea Arthur died! :( (214):What? (936):Big bird passed. http://tfl.nu/7dhn
  Replies (8) Good night (527) Bad night (1009)
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  (530): View more from California

  You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.

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  (530): You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger. http://tfl.nu/azyx
  Replies (8) Good night (1213) Bad night (5704) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  and my herpes radar will keep us safe

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  (843): and my herpes radar will keep us safe http://tfl.nu/p103
  Replies (25) Good night (3313) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...

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  (425): So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod... http://tfl.nu/hp9q
  Replies (65) Good night (7357) Bad night (1209)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world

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  (513): i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world http://tfl.nu/tdpx
  Replies (70) Good night (8144) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real

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  (817): this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real http://tfl.nu/fl2e
  Replies (63) Good night (6151) Bad night (751) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you

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  (203): my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it (973): just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you http://tfl.nu/4uwz
  Replies (60) Good night (1977) Bad night (4964)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.

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  (419): i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover. http://tfl.nu/0t27
  Replies (26) Good night (848) Bad night (4629) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex

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  (717): He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex http://tfl.nu/v3ok
  Replies (25) Good night (5765) Bad night (1673) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"

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  (860): at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!" http://tfl.nu/hob5
  Replies (12) Good night (5381) Bad night (979) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.

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  (704): I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures. http://tfl.nu/ybaw
  Replies (13) Good night (3975) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just look for the house with the beer knights.

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  (240): Just look for the house with the beer knights. http://tfl.nu/2986
  Replies (5) Good night (2055) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".

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  (306): you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue". http://tfl.nu/bqgp
  Replies (6) Good night (2419) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home

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  (423): I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in (1-423): Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home http://tfl.nu/1crt
  Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (1057)

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