I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
