He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
