my phone needs a breathalizer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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