And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Sponge bath it is.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
