i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
