Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
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