i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
