The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
