theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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