idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
