i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
