so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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