Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
