I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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