the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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