I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
