fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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