i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
