whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize