Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
