Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
