My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
