i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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