Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
