these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
