I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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