I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
