My boss' voice literally gives me gas
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Randomize
