IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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