I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
