That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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