I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
