let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
