Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
