so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
