If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
