he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
