i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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