I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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